Grief during Postpartum : Loss of a parent

Experiencing the loss of a parent while navigating the postpartum period is an incredibly complex and deeply personal journey. When my mother passed away while my daughter was not even three months old, I found myself facing a storm of emotions—grief, exhaustion, joy, and overwhelm—all at once. Especially after I had already lost my father in my youth, I was now alone in my journey, so to speak.

The postpartum phase is already one of tremendous adjustment. The sleepless nights, hormonal shifts, and the intense responsibility of caring for a newborn often leave new mothers feeling vulnerable and stretched thin. Adding the profound grief of losing a parent to this mix can intensify every emotion and make it difficult to prioritize self-care.

In those early weeks, I struggled with a profound sadness that seemed to ebb and flow unpredictably. Moments of pure joy with my daughter were punctuated by waves of mourning, especially in quieter moments when exhaustion set in. The physical toll of sleep deprivation compounded the emotional weight, making it hard to process grief fully or find moments of peace.

It was essential for me to give myself permission to feel both the happiness of new motherhood and the pain of loss simultaneously—neither negating the other. Reaching out for support was crucial; whether through partners, friends, or professional counsellors, having someone to talk to helped me navigate those conflicting emotions.

Practical support also made a significant difference. Accepting help with household tasks or baby care allowed me brief respites to rest or reflect. Creating small rituals to remember my mother helped keep her close in those early months, even as I adjusted to my new role as a mother myself.

If you are experiencing loss during postpartum, know that it’s okay to grieve and to ask for help. Balancing the profound demands of new motherhood with the pain of loss is uniquely challenging, but you are not alone. Honour your feelings, nurture your body, and lean on your support network—there is strength in vulnerability, especially during this tender time.